by Monty Python on album Live at Drury Lane

Linkman: Hello, good evening and welcome to Election Night Special. There's tremendous excitement here at the moment and we should be getting the first results through any moment now. We're not sure w

by Monty Python on album The Final Rip Off

Newscaster: And right now it's time for athletics, and over to Brian Goebells in Paris. Goebells: Hello, well you join us here in Paris just a few minutes before the start of today's big event: the fi

by Monty Python on album The Final Rip Off

Linkman: Hello, good evening and welcome to Election Night Special. There's tremendous excitement here at the moment and we should be getting the first results through any moment now. We're not sure w

by Monty Python on album Back of the Net! [Classic Football Anthems]

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

I like Traffic lights (3x) No matter where they've been I like Traffic Lights (5x) But only when they're green He likes traffic lights(3x) No matter where they've been He likes traffic lights(3x) But

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop. Wife: Oh, it's quite nice dear, it's Sunday, it's the church. Man: What about us atheists? Why should we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil? Wife: You'

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Beethoven's gone, but his music lives on And Mozart don't go shopping no more You'll never meet Liszt or Brahms again And Elgar doesn't answer the door Schubert and Chopin used to chuckle and laugh W

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Newscaster: Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toad the Wet Sprocket has had to have an elbow removed following their recent successful worldwide tour of Finland. Flamboyant ambidextrous Rex a

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Finland, Finland, Finland, The country where I want to be, Pony trekking or camping, Or just watching TV, Finland, Finland, Finland, It's the country for me. You're so near to Russia, So far from Jap

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

(spoken) The world today seems absolutley crackers, With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Customer: (entering the bookshop) Good morning. Proprietor (John Cleese): Good morning, sir. Can I help you? C: Er, yes. Do you have a copy of "Thirty Days in the Samarkan Desert with the Duchess of K

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Adrian Wapcaplet: Aah, come in, come in, Mr... Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang! Mr. Simpson: Thank you. Wapcapl

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Henry Kissinger How I'm missing yer You're the Doctor of my dreams With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare And your machiavellian schemes I know they say that you are very vain And short and fat

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

Never be rude to an Arab An Isreali, or Saudi, or Jew Never be rude to an Irishman No matter what you do Never poke fun at a Nigger A Spic, or a Wop, or Kraut And never poke fun at at ...KABOOM

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album

This record has been skillfuly crafted by british comedians using ancient well-worn classical hand-tooled jokes. It has been specially designed to sit at the back of your record collection amongst the

by Monty Python on album Die Ultimative Chartshow - One Hit Wonder

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out

by Monty Python on album Volle Pulle Oktoberfest Vol. 3

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out

by Monty Python on album Strapped for Cash

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out

by Monty Python on album Monty Python’s Previous Record

I'd like to have an argument, please. Certainly, sir. Have you been here before? No, this is my first time. I see. Well, were you thinking of taking a five minute argument or a course? Well, what's th

by Monty Python on album Alle 40 Goed: Feest!

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out